Tag Archives: Happiness

Mele Kalikimaka! Merry Christmas!

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My first Christmas in Hawaii! And the first post from me in a long while…where should I begin?

I’ll start with the last post back in September. I alluded to lots of changes that created a new found momentum for me. I did lose 50 lbs during my weight loss study at Stanford. I filed for a divorce. I worked on becoming Authentic Amy. I fell in love with life during the past year too. My eyes opened. I moved to an island in the South Pacific with my dearest best friend and her family. I live on her island homestead filled with fruit and nut trees, gardens and lots of maintenance needs. It’s been an amazing two months since moving here, creating a veggie garden, pruning overgrown avocado and banana trees and learning about centipedes, cockroaches and the non migratory Monarch Butterflies that live on the property. We will be adding a small of chickens soon to assist in the pedes and roaches. I have been learning what my baseline emotional and physical needs are too.

I’ll slowly get back to blogging. I have missed it actually.

So while this post is short, behind it lies volumes about what we need to be happy. If you you look in a mirror right now, it’s the reflection you see. Happiness begins with you. So until next time…love yourself! Hug someone tight! Grow some food!

Merry Christmas Friends!

Mele Kalikimaka!

mmmmmm

mmmmmm

They are huge here!

They are huge here!

 

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Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes

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So many changes have happened in my life from this time last year to now, my life is nothing as it once was.

While there has been heartache, sadness, lonliness, depression and insanity there also has been joy, happiness, humbled realizations and progress in my life.

Have you heard the expression, Love is all you need? In my case, its true. I needed to begin loving myself in order for change to happen in my life. From the outside, I’m a very loving person. I give love freely. I see love in the little things around me. Friends and family often say that they are attracted to the love I give out. A year ago, I felt like I had no more love to give. I was overweight. I was depressed. I was in a relationship where for many years the love wasn’t reciprocated, at least not in the capacity that I needed. I lost my love, temporarily.

It was one day last September that I felt like ending it all. It seemed it would be so much better not to feel so helpless. I had struggled with life for so long, I was at my rope so they say.

And then a switch flipped…I realized I actually had a choice to change myself and my situation. So I did just that. I spoke with a lawyer. I signed up for a Stanford University Weight Loss study. I began to think differently. I became aware of the areas I had control over and stopped worrying about the things I had no control over.

I lightened up. I cleaned out my closets. I began losing weight. I began to feel. I was feeling joyful. And hopeful. I reassessed what was important to me. I made goals.

After this year I have grown in way I never thought imaginable. It only took a decision to take a leap of faith towards change.

I am grateful for this journey as I have strengthened existing meaningful relationships, and formed new authentic relationships that I will treasure forever. I’m loving myself again. And it feels right.

 

 

After a long Winters nap…I’ve decided I’m back

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Yes, it’s true! I have been through so much LIFE recently I feel I can write a novel…well at least a few chapters of a novel…more on that thought later…

I have been doing some self reflection, soul searching, life planning, hermit-ing, goal setting, working and sorting. I also have been doing some loving, caring, listening, friending and feeling. This morning I didn’t even need a jacket on my run. It’s was a sign that change is happening and good things are coming…

While this is a quick little post, there will be more coming…
Have a good day everyone…I will be!

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Me in Portland Oregon March 2014

Happy New Year Nostalgia

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2014.
I have a bubbling suspicion that this year will be chock full of change. Can you feel it too?

The past few months have been churning, status quo, the motions continue forward, however a few weeks ago my Mom was diagnosed with breast cancer. I’ve been overwhelmed by the feelings that spout out from such news. The really good thing is that she found it in its early stages. The initial reports showed 3 tumors and a mastectomy was arranged. Cancer was found in her lymph nodes also, so she will be prescribed chemo and radiation.

The last week I have been recuperating with her at home since surgery, which went really well, but feeling nostalgic. There really is nothing like that feeling of curling up in bed with your mom in bed, no matter what age you are…and I’m 42!

This morning I woke up at 1a and at 2a and at 4a when I decided to just get up. Even though I’ve been visiting for over a week, the one thing I have been meaning to do is look through the photo albums. My parents seemed to have captured the perfect memories to our childhood. Capturing the snippet of time that a point and shoot camera accomplishes. I laughed a little and cried a tear or two, but helped me remember how goofy my brothers and I were. And now with families of our own, how our offspring now resemble how we were all back then. The family vacations, the family parties, the cousins…so many cousins! The holidays, the family pets, the messy house, the moments where my brothers and I passed the time by dressing up as monsters, giving talent shows or beating each other up. There are even a few of me as a teenager, being moody and embarrassed being in public with my parents.

I would really like to wish a resounding Happy New Year to everyone, but happiness is just not what I see. There will be lots of change and recovery, and some pain, hopefully not too much.

So until next time here are a couple pictures of my parents, one on their wedding day in 1966, and one 9 months later the same year.

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This little light of mine…

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I have been watching Tedtalks lately. Ken Robinson is someone I have been intrigued with from his talks on education killing children’s creativity, I often think of how my life would be if I was encouraged to dance or knit or make things instead of focus on a general curriculum. Would I be teaching dance instead of teaching product knowledge to a bunch of twenty somethings who are waiting for their next break…would I be onstage entertaining audiences with my moves instead of being onstage waiting for the next customer to entertain.
While my parents encouraged us to go to school, follow the teachers directions, none of our talents were encouraged and developed. My older brother who was always drawing would often come home with a note from his teacher saying he was caught drawing again instead of focusing on his math lesson.
I wonder if he ever thinks what his life would look like if those skills were nurtured at an early age. Fortunately his drawing skills are now being used at the architecture firm he works at, creating plans and models.

Here is Ken Robinson talking about education.Ken Robinson

If you are a parent, aunt, uncle or lucky enough to be an educator, take a moment to watch his talk. We can make a difference in this world. Encourage children’s creativity to help them shine!

No. 25

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I can hardly believe this is entry 25! The past few months have really flown by filled with emotions, happiness, sadness and with life lessons along the way.
This is me doing the the celebratory No.25 dance…

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Jazz hands in full effect…
As for the ‘costume’ it’s from one of my recitals from 35 years ago. So if you are wondering, yes I am a packrat. I was trying to organize my craft closet when I saw the neon hot pink ensemble and had to share it with you guys!

The past few weeks have been really great…Spring has sprung in the Bay Area. It caught me by surprise. I was just feeling the blah ness of Winter in full effect when I woke up to sunshine and a bird orgy outside my window. Literally hundreds of robins, larks and finches in one tree having a blast! So if that’s not a sign of spring in suburbia I don’t know nothing!

My winter garden keeps producing, there’s enough kale to feed the dachshunds, in laws and us, along with the beets and carrots ready to be pulled, although I am secretly treasuring their snugness in the soil.

I started my seeds a couple of weeks ago. This year I will only grow limited amounts of veggies as I typically go overboard by wanting 15 types of heirloom tomatoes and overcrowding prevents me from enjoying the bounty. I will plant tomatillos, 3 types of organic, heirlooms, zukes and 2 types of cucumbers.

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I am still bent on building a chicken coop and raising some chicks for eggs and companionship.
I came across a great sounding pickled egg recipe for Bantham eggs the other day. Bantham chickens are a bit smaller and their eggs are perfectly single sized.

My IBS has been controlled the past two weeks and I haven’t had much upset. I really have been eating only at home with clean simple tasty meals.
While I still have cravings of bread, crackers etc. I know eating any thing with gluten just is not worth the gut ache. I continue to make pots of homemade broth weekly. That seems to anchor my diet and makes me feel normal.
Last weekend I ran the Oakland Team Relay. The weather was perfect, I ran the hardest part of the marathon, uphill for 5 miles, and sustained my energy throughout. I even ran an extra 2 miles afterward! I was so careful and mindful the entire week before about what I was putting in my body. Such diligence really paid off as I ran my best pace ever!
Here’s a pic of me with my newest addition to my medal collection!

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So life is going, which is a good thing!
Happy Spring everyone!

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