So many changes have happened in my life from this time last year to now, my life is nothing as it once was.
While there has been heartache, sadness, lonliness, depression and insanity there also has been joy, happiness, humbled realizations and progress in my life.
Have you heard the expression, Love is all you need? In my case, its true. I needed to begin loving myself in order for change to happen in my life. From the outside, I’m a very loving person. I give love freely. I see love in the little things around me. Friends and family often say that they are attracted to the love I give out. A year ago, I felt like I had no more love to give. I was overweight. I was depressed. I was in a relationship where for many years the love wasn’t reciprocated, at least not in the capacity that I needed. I lost my love, temporarily.
It was one day last September that I felt like ending it all. It seemed it would be so much better not to feel so helpless. I had struggled with life for so long, I was at my rope so they say.
And then a switch flipped…I realized I actually had a choice to change myself and my situation. So I did just that. I spoke with a lawyer. I signed up for a Stanford University Weight Loss study. I began to think differently. I became aware of the areas I had control over and stopped worrying about the things I had no control over.
I lightened up. I cleaned out my closets. I began losing weight. I began to feel. I was feeling joyful. And hopeful. I reassessed what was important to me. I made goals.
After this year I have grown in way I never thought imaginable. It only took a decision to take a leap of faith towards change.
I am grateful for this journey as I have strengthened existing meaningful relationships, and formed new authentic relationships that I will treasure forever. I’m loving myself again. And it feels right.