Official Middle-Aged Post

I mean, assuming I will live till 90…I should live longer than that though according to modern day science marvels.

The past few weeks I have been SO exhausted. I crawl out of bed. My head is filled with fog. My body aches in places that I thought couldn’t ache…like my tailbone? So when I woke up this morning full of energy and love, I knew it was different. Today was a different kind of day. I felt free and weightless. I could feel my family loving me from afar. It was my birthday! 45! So cool!

The past year I have been working on a new career. I am a full time college student. I am taking math and chemistry, mixed in with nutrition and psychology. My brain is alive and it’s retaining information! I’ve never had As and Bs in school before, psychology and nutrition respectively…Life is SO good.

Sure, life has it’s struggles and I often need to be real with myself and have patience. Accept what is ‘right now’ for example. While I am working on a life change, I can’t help but worry and second guess this decision to go into healthcare, being I’m not that keen on my math skills. It is a struggle each class period. I study and study. And don’t get the results I want. Recently I have accepted that what I knew about studying and learning had to be changed. I have spent over 200 hours studying which has resulted in sub-par results. My professor was empathetic and reminded me that I have it in me to succeed. “To keep at it. You’re young. It will be worth it to me to stay focused on my goals…”

Could it be possible I have a learning disability? It is possible…I mean I do really well in psychology, history and nutrition. I can whip out essays in minutes. It’s frustrating and defeating when I don’t get the same scores in math.  I set up a appointment at school with a counselor to talk about my learning issues. I’ll keep you updated…

So, I suppose if I ‘keep at it’ I will eventually get there. I have perseverance. I have friends that love and support me. I am grateful.



Let me give thanks to the two that created me…This is a picture of my parents in their early twenties…my Dad still looks at my Mom this loving today.


Happy Birthday to me! At 1, 2, 3, 4,5…and at 45! Happy Summer Friends!

I continue on with an open heart and an open mind.

Love always,





4 thoughts on “Official Middle-Aged Post

  1. starspringsf

    I turn 44 on the 5th of August. I spent the last few weeks fighting off headaches, massive eye strain and paranoia worrying about what else was going on. I’m not great at math either. Without a calculator my mind turns into an Etch-a-Sketch that been shaken. It’s blank.

    But you’re following your bliss. Perseverance pays off-and is one of the biggest factors in success. You are right, that lots of people support you and believe in you…”and that’s one to grow on!”

    Oh, and happy birthday!


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