Category Archives: growing

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I was looking at my hard drive and came upon my writings from my classes from the past year. For the next few months I’ll share some of my writings with you. It’s me being authentic and courageous. They are straight from my mind, mostly a stream of consciousness on my current journey. Some essays are more thought through.

I hope you enjoy the insight into my life. I am grateful that you care enough to want to get to know me better.

Enjoy and I love you

*This is an essay I wrote as a response from the following TedTALK:
TEDTalk: Danger Of Silence

January 25, 2016

Danger of Silence

We all have a story or a truth to tell. Recently I have made some tough life choices and soon realized, I don’t know much about what I want out of life. I’ve been married, raised a family, bought  a couple houses, divorced, lost a couple of houses, changed careers, moved away to Hawaii for a year, became a college student and now I’m here. The line Clint Smith speaks in his TEDTalk, Danger of Silence made me think about my life and where I was headed. For much of his life he spent saying what other people wanted to hear.

I have spent most of my life telling people what they wanted to hear also. I sacrificed myself in many ways by being a dependable wife, a hard working parent, a model daughter-in-law, a responsible and accountable mother, a reliable friend and a caring and giving daughter.

I have looked the other way when I was treated poorly by my husband, bosses and friends. I accepted that my life would always be like it is.

One day in 2013 I realized that I was important and had a choice to change how my life was headed. I soon made decisions that created a domino effect in my life. I moved out on my own. I quit my unfulfilling job. I took care of my mom who had breast cancer. Life is way too short was my new outlook. I moved to Hawaii. I swam with dolphins and sharks and made life long friends with people whom I connected with on so many different levels. I became more clear headed of who I was and what I wanted to do. I decided to go back to school, to become a nutritionist, to help people live happier and healthier lives.

While my friends and family were surprised by this new ‘me’, I felt awakened. I heard my own voice loud and clear. It was a long time coming. So now, I am no longer quiet in what I want. I ask for it now. I continue to be helpful, nurturing and reliant. I am first doing it for myself, which fuels my passion to then be that way to others.

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Mele Kalikimaka! Merry Christmas!

My first Christmas in Hawaii! And the first post from me in a long while…where should I begin?

I’ll start with the last post back in September. I alluded to lots of changes that created a new found momentum for me. I did lose 50 lbs during my weight loss study at Stanford. I filed for a divorce. I worked on becoming Authentic Amy. I fell in love with life during the past year too. My eyes opened. I moved to an island in the South Pacific with my dearest best friend and her family. I live on her island homestead filled with fruit and nut trees, gardens and lots of maintenance needs. It’s been an amazing two months since moving here, creating a veggie garden, pruning overgrown avocado and banana trees and learning about centipedes, cockroaches and the non migratory Monarch Butterflies that live on the property. We will be adding a small of chickens soon to assist in the pedes and roaches. I have been learning what my baseline emotional and physical needs are too.

I’ll slowly get back to blogging. I have missed it actually.

So while this post is short, behind it lies volumes about what we need to be happy. If you you look in a mirror right now, it’s the reflection you see. Happiness begins with you. So until next time…love yourself! Hug someone tight! Grow some food!

Merry Christmas Friends!

Mele Kalikimaka!

mmmmmm

mmmmmm

They are huge here!

They are huge here!

 

The little red things

Yes I’ve been absent, physically and mentally but thought I’d share these pics from this morning before work.
All it takes to brightens someone’s day are tiny little red things…

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This of course is Rosalee, look at her waddles and comb they are coming in nicely! And she loves tiny little red things…Happy holidays!

Case of the Mondays

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This past Monday I woke up tired and out of sorts. I fed the pups, let the chickens out to free range a bit before work and went back inside to make some tea. I also made a scrambled egg sandwich on Rudis GF multigrain bread. Since this past year with my allergy, I haven’t really wanted to eat bread. I no longer craved it, but this morning, I knew I wanted an egg sandwich.
As I was walking down the hall, the entire sandwich slid off my plate. Ugh! So it ended up that my dogs had a nice breakfast instead of me. I went back into the kitchen and tured the kettle on. I’ll make myself some tea I said to myself…I grabbed a mug from the cupboard and accidentally bumped it against my sink. It cracked in my hand, leaving me with a cut. I washed the cut, put a bandaid on it and reminded myself that yes its Monday, but I had tomorrow off. I need to get through the day…I MUST get through the day…
The past couple weeks, I’ve been feeling fatigued. Maybe it’s the changing of the seasons, who knows.

Even though the morning didn’t go as planned, no more disasters happened. In fact on my way to work I made myself laugh because at first I was feeling bummed my favorite mug broke…but then my next thought was that ALL my mugs are my favorite! Not just that one. I had many left to enjoy!

Here’s a chicken picture for no reason except that yes, those fluffy furry puffballs are hens. And she’s probably thinking, what you looking at?

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Summer was just here, I swear

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The summer’s coming to end. The days are definitely getting shorter. The weather still has some heat, however my garden is getting tired. The tomatoes are not really turning red and the zucchini are growing few and fingerling sized.

School is back in session which equals to hellish commutes…who’s whining? 🙂
But I do know that love is about and shows up when you least expect it sometimes.

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Today I decided to take out most of my garden to get it ready for the Fall garden. I usually dread this task because it is admittance that summer really is over. After clippinga and pruning the vines I was left with a few pounds of immature tomatoes. And what does one do with all that fruit? Make relish!

Being raised on the West Coast, green tomato relish wasn’t something that I ever had. However after reading this recipe Farm Girl it had a familiar resemblance of chili verde. So I decided to give it a try.

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I had all the ingredients handy and it didn’t take more than an hour and a half. You can find the recipe on the link above to Farmgirl.

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I used a water bath method to can them. I will share a few jars with my family, however after sampling the finished product it was amazing. Not only can it be used for chips and dip, but I can use it to make chicken chili verde too.

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With the end of summer, good things do come from the changes of the season. Finding the heart shaped tomato today validated my decision to grow food for my family, which I shared pounds of tomatoes with friends and family with my abundant crop…taking the time the other night to look at the beautiful sunset then stare at the stars reminded me to be grateful for what I have and the life I live.

Onwards and upwards to your dreams…

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Mornings

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The garden is GROWING out of control!
I love gardening. Each morning I roll out of bed, feed the dogs, take them out to do their business then let the chicks out. I then take about 20 minutes to observe what is growing in my garden. I scaled back from my normal 12 dozen tomatoe plants to only have 6 this year. I have hundreds of green tomatoes, each day a few turn red. Everyday I find something ripe, something I had not noticed the day before. With the addition of the chickens, I’m intrigued by their crazy antics too.

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I also have 3 zucchini plants that continue to produce lovely green beauties.
An easy recipe to use both tomatoes and zucchini is to make a gratin.
I slice tomatoes and zucchini into round slices. I alternate layers tomato, then zukes, drizzle EVOO, salt and pepper, crushed garlic if you prefer. Sprinkle mozarella on top and bake at 350 degrees for 30 minutes. The flavors meld together and voila! Delicious!

Here are a few pictures of the garden and chicks…whom are so much fun!

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I also shredded zucchini and made lasagne using the zukes for noodles. So yummy, and gluten-free!!

Namaste

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This is AMMA. I met her a couple weeks ago. Awhile back I was on the interwebs and came across a place called the AMMA center near where I live. I sometimes would take the road that the center was off of and at times, traffic would be creeping for miles while cars would be turning into a driveway that winded up the hills of San Ramon.

I saw that AMMA herself was planning her Summer USA tour and I just knew I had to go. Now I admit I am spiritual however not really religious. I have tried Catholicism, Presbyterianism, Baptist, Christian and while I felt comfortable in all the church services I knew that I could not commit to just one. I really didn’t know why, but that it was a commitment I was ready for yet.

I read about AMMA and learned that she has spent her whole life embracing people. Hugging folks. That was her philosophy. I have always said HUG IT OUT. In fact my belief is that when I come across people who are in a bad mood or generally nasty, they should have been hugged more as a child. Hugs are magical in my book. They make you relax. They comfort. They bring people together physically and emotionally. They spread love. They release endorphins! If people hugged more the world WOULD be a better place in my opinion.
In AMMAs life, at a very young age, despite cast and poverty, she hugged people who she thought needed it. She has accomplished so much in her life by embracing others. She is devoted to humanitarian life all over the world.

My husband, son and I left early to the AMMA Center.
I wasn’t sure what to expect. I had no idea who was going however I assumed lots of people would attend. When we arrived only 50 people were in line. We were briefed to take our shoes off before entering the temple. We would be seated and there would be a meditation session before AMMA began her embraces.

As we entered the Temple, we lined up and were escorted to the front of the room. On the alter, or stage, people were preparing the platform where AMMA was to be seated. They were decorating with flowers and setting up the microphones.
I turned around and realized the 50 people who entered earlier multiplied and now the entire Temple was full of a few hundred people. We luckily were seated in the second row from the front.

I asked the woman next to me if she had ever seen AMMA before. She shared that she had not and wasn’t even sure if she was ready. She told me she had a hard time accepting hugs. I assured her it everything would be alright as I wrapped my arm around her shoulders and gave her a quick hug.

Finally it was our family’s turn. I felt anticipation as we walked closer to the stage. It seemed like controlled chaos. There were helpers telling people waiting to come forward, to kneel, to stand, to hand over their offerings, to sit on a stool, to walk over to the side, to stay. Once the three of us were in front of AMMA she grabbed Joshua and embraced him. She began to chant, then touched my husband. She kissed Joshua on the cheek, and then I was told by one of her helpers that she was going to be giving us a family blessing. She fed us each a sweet, I was to kneel infront of her. As I kneeled she began to chant Ma Ma Ma Ma…I rush of emotion came over me as she embraced me and kissed both cheeks. My troubles disappeared and I felt content and most vividly I felt love. She smiled at me and smiled at my family and said another blessing for our family. Her smell was intoxicating. Rose. It remained on our clothes for awhile afterward. We were given another sweet wrapped in rose petals. We moved to the side of the stage and watched AMMA continue her embraces. As I watched I realized she knew what each person needed that day. Some people needed consoling, some needed to feel her love and some needed to be in her presence. It was a remarkable experience.

AMMA changed me and as a family we shared a moment we would never forget.
Namaste’

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Tiny little things

I admit openly, that life has its challenges. At times, its easier for me to think and worry about the big issues. The problem with doing that is I feel bogged down, depressed and overwhelmed. However, time after time I am reminded that I cannot change what cannot be changed. I am reminded about the little things everyday…such as…
I had a good nights sleep last night! I woke up this morning from dreaming about some of my favorite people. Yesterday, I definitely had a case of the Mondays when another close friend called me and asked for a hug or two, she was visiting the mall I work at. I received a surprised visit and a reminder that I am special. This morning, I was watering my garden when a tiny little female hummingbird swooped in front of me and landed on a tomato cage. She sat there looking at me for about 30 seconds then zoomed off. My son is home from college for the summer. My apron strings don’t feel so tight, it’s great seeing him sleep in his bed and hear him laugh at my lame jokes!
It really is the tiny little things and small moments that make a happy life…well if it so, I feel very lucky lately 🙂

More on tiny things, my friend had a tiny little baby and I made this blanket for him.
It’s a go to pattern from Lion Brand, Little V Stitch For baby blankets I always use machine washable cotton or wool yarn. I added a simple picot trim around the edge with washable cashmere.

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I also was given some beautiful porcini mushrooms that I used to make a wild mushroom ,kale and leek soup.

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Here’s my tiny little girlfriend Miss Hummingbird.
Isn’t she adorable!

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Have a great day! Cheers to the tiny things that make a big difference!

I’m sure you’ve heard the little things are what matters…

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I would like to introduce you to my little friend, Hans. He swings from my itty bitty kukoo clock. There are some things in my home that I really love. This clock is one of them. We are 4 hours north from a little town called Solvang. That is where found this gem.
You can learn more about clocks and Solvang here. http://www.clocksclocks.com/AboutUs.htm?mobile=0
Here is Hans in action!

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With the weather warming up, Summer seems to be right around the corner. I love that May is here and one little special event happens in my yard in May.

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It’s a…
Selenicereus grandiflorus!
Selenicereus grandiflorus is a cactus species originating from the Antilles, Mexico and Central America. The species is commonly referred to as Nightblooming Cereus, Queen of the Night, Large-flowered Cactus, Sweet-Scented Cactus or Vanilla Cactus.
Scientific name: Selenicereus grandiflorus
Rank: Species
Higher classification: Moonlight cactus

I’m always taken by surprise when it actually opens because just yesterday morning as I was watering my plants before work, the flower was so tightly closed. It seemed it still needed to rest before blooming.

Here it is fully blooming!

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It is true I will only be enjoying this lovely bloom for one night because once it opens and sends its scent into the world it’s done what it was meant to do. This event that I witnessed reminds me that we all have a purpose in life. We are significant in some way.
If you happen upon a Queen of the Night, remember it took 365 days for that bloom. Stop and enjoy, even for a moment.